12 Advancing Women Conference “How was your day?” “Fine.” “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” Sound familiar? As parents, we long to know what’s really going on in our kids’ lives—but often we’re met with one-word answers and closed doors. In a world filled with constant distractions, pressure, and digital overload, our children are craving connection—but they often don’t know how to ask for it. And the truth is, neither do we. After more than 21 years working in law enforcement, including as a School Resource Officer, and now as a keynote speaker, family mediator, workshop facilitator and author of Youth Truth, I’ve seen firsthand what happens when youth feel disconnected—and what can happen when we learn how to truly listen. I want to share this: connection doesn’t require hours of conversation—it requires presence, patience, and intentionality. Here are three key principles for reconnecting with your child in meaningful ways: 1. Create Moments, Not Just Time We often hear that we need to “spend more time” with our kids—but what really matters is how we show up during that time. Whether it’s five minutes in the car, folding laundry together, or grabbing a snack after school, these ordinary moments can become extraordinary opportunities when we’re fully present. That means putting down the phone, turning off the TV, and making eye contact. Our kids notice when we’re engaged—and when we’re not. 2. Ask Better Questions Kids don’t always respond to “How was school?” because it’s too broad. Instead, try: • “What made you laugh today?” • “Was there a moment that was hard?” • “If you could redo one part of today, what would it be?” These types of questions give kids permission to open up without pressure. And if they don’t respond right away? Don’t worry. Consistency and patience build trust. 3. Validate Before You Fix As adults, we’re wired to fix. But when a child shares something hard, what they often need isn’t advice—it’s understanding. Saying, “That sounds really tough,” or “I can see why you feel that way,” shows empathy and builds connection. Once they feel heard, they’re far more open to support or solutions. Final Thought: Your Presence is Powerful You don’t have to be a perfect parent to be a powerful one. The most meaningful connections come from showing up with authenticity and care, not from having all the answers. I’ve worked with kids facing bullying, mental health struggles, identity crises, and more—and one constant remains: a single caring adult can change everything. So next time your child gives you a one-word answer, don’t take it personally. Take it as an invitation to lean in gently. Your presence, your patience, and your willingness to keep asking—those are the bridges that lead to connection. Carlamay Sheremata is a retired police officer, Keynote speaker family mediator, and author of the award-winning book Youth Truth: Engaging in Conversations That Can Change Lives. She speaks and facilitates workshops on parenting, resilience, and youth communication. Learn more at www.carlamaysheremata.com. REAL CONNECTION: HOW TO TRULY CONNECT WITH YOUR KIDS IN A DISTRACTED WORLD
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