The McCutcheons have four kids and a dairy farm in Haldimand County
Mother’s Day is only a few days away (that’s another reminder), and this week Farms.com has connected with moms in ag for their thoughts on motherhood, its challenges, and how being a parent has changed them.
Anna McCutcheon (AM) and her husband Mark are the first generation on their dairy farm in Haldimand County.
Along with the approximately 50 cows and 360 acres of cropland on their farm, the family also has four children – Evi (17), Helaina (15), Anya (11), and William (5).
“Our oldest is an old soul,” McCutcheon told Farms.com about Evi. “She loves being outdoors, feeding claves and enjoys growing flowers.
“Our second daughter is a go getter. She is always busy and loves accomplishing things working with her hands. She’s getting to be pretty handy.
“Our third daughter is our outgoing one. She loves people and animals and is so kindhearted. She loves giving visitors to the farm the full tour. All three girls are a tremendous help on the farm. They are all also really good students.
“Our little guy is funny and loves farm equipment. He notices any time a piece of equipment has moved spots, and he has about a million questions and interesting ideas on his mind every day. He keeps the whole house on their toes.
Farms.com: Describe where you were when you found out you were pregnant for the first time. How did it make you feel?
AM: My husband and I had been married for just a few months, and I had moved away from home to his area, away from friends and family. I had just started a job in dairy nutrition at a local feed company and I remember feeling terrible that I had just started and would need to let my bosses know I was expecting. Of course, they were wonderful about it, and it really helped me to be able to put aside some of my worries.
Farms.com: Describe the feeling of holding a newborn for the first time.
AM: With the first, it was very surreal, especially when you pack up that tiny little bundle to leave the hospital. She was such a beautiful baby but definitely felt like a little stranger. I really felt that way with each of them, like each time it was a new little stranger that I needed to get to know.
But I think with the first one I felt guilty that it wasn’t “love at first sight”. But with the others I understood that was perfectly normal and getting to know them became one of my favorite things about those early days with a newborn.
The McCutcheon family
Farms.com: What’s the best part about being a farm mom?
AM: I love having the kids around the farm with us as we work. I love working in the barn as kids are rollerblading on the feed alley, or playing in a pile of sand. I love the funny and frank conversations that take place when they’re sitting on a blanket on the floor of the tractor as you’re doing field work.
And, as they get older, I love working alongside them and watching their pride as they complete important jobs around the farm really well.
Farms.com: What’s the hardest part about motherhood?
AM: Balancing everything during the really busy times of the year. During key times the farm is all-consuming, especially with it just being us working here. And during those times you feel like you are just barely in survival mode and there are some balls that you know you’re dropping. Like whoops, we didn’t get a “home read” done all week or we can’t make that ball practice, or you realize there are no clean socks left in the drawer.
But it’s also in those times that we come together the most as a family, where, especially the older kids, just automatically step up and have a dinner made when you get in or have done chores already or thrown in a load of laundry.
Farms.com: What part of motherhood makes you feel the most vulnerable?
AM: Asking for help. I am terrible at asking for help and when I have to I feel guilty about it, like somehow it’s a personal shortcoming on my part if I can’t do it all. So it’s definitely a point of vulnerability for me.
Farms.com: Who is your favourite fictional parent, and why?
AM: All my favorite parents I look up to the most are in real life! I read Four Winds by Kristin Hannah last summer and the main character of that book was very relatable to me in so many ways, as a mother who is also a farmer.
Farms.com: What’s a misconception people have about motherhood?
AM: That it’s a mother’s job to make sure their kids don’t have any difficulties. Difficulties are a really normal part of life for all of us, including kids. It’s not my job to eliminate them, but rather to help my kids with the skills to work through them and even to understand that there can be joy and accomplishment in the struggle too.
Farms.com: What’s your mom’s name and what are some special memories you have with her?
AM: My mom and dad are Anita and Ferdinand. My best memories with my mom and dad are of working alongside them on the farm, growing up. My love for agriculture is because of my mom and dad and luckily, they also modelled the work ethic and determination I’d need to go along with that passion.
I also have the best memories of our yearly week at the cottage. It was difficult to get away as a family, but my parents always made sure we had that week. My husband and I do the same thing with our family now too.
Farms.com: What’s one lesson you learned from your mom you try to teach your kids?
AM: That working hard, doing what you love is a great source of fulfillment and happiness. Nothing is sunshine and roses every day, obviously, but finding enjoyment in the work that you do is really important.
Farms.com: How has parenthood changed you?
AM: Parenthood changed my purpose in life. I really feel that the most important work I will do is to raise 4 good human beings, who will hopefully, quietly and humbly set about using their own unique talents to someday make their own families and their communities a better place.
Farms.com: What’s one thing all parents have in common no matter where they are in the world?
AM: That you want the best for your kids. And I don’t mean in terms of “stuff” but for them to be happy, healthy, safe and loved.
Farms.com: What’s one piece of advice you have for new moms?
AM: Don’t read too many parenting books/articles and don’t take every piece of “advice” that people offer you to heart. Do you, follow your instincts and don’t get caught up feeling like you need to keep up with what everyone else is doing or how they are doing it.
And never feel guilty over being a working mom. Working moms are modelling so many incredible values and skills to their kids that will serve them so well in life.